Do you watch The Block for the drama, or the renovations? It’s a fair question. And one that splits us Block fans down the middle, pretty much 50/50.
There are those of us who watch for the punch-ups, and those of us that watch for the paint jobs.
Am I lame? Probably. Am I alone? Nup - 50 per cent probably totally do the same.
The rest? You don’t understand me at ALL, do you? The only reason you lot watch the show is for the fisty-cuffs, and the barnies, and Keith rampaging through the site, threatening to shut someone down because they’ve not swept up properly.
You LIVE for that stuff, don’t you?
It’s OK. It’s cool. I get you. But honestly - that stuff seriously doesn’t float my boat. Which is weird, because watching people snark at each other is pretty much the ONLY reason I tune into The Bachelor each week. Or watch Survivor religiously.
But, weirdly, when it comes to The Block, I just don’t want a bar of it. Even when it’s as juicy as it’s been this week, with all that pool drama, and accusations of copying, and Hannah being all ‘I totally dropped you in it Georgia, but I’m now going to pretend it wasn’t me.’
See, because as much as I am down with all that stuff on other shows - nay, DEMAND it - I’d much rather spend my time focussing on the actual house builds.
Maybe it’s because I like to live my life vicariously through the contestants, who’ve been gifted a motherload of cash to do, well, pretty much whatever they like with their multi-million dollar properties.
Because, who amongst us hasn’t fantasised about what we’d do with our house if we had an unlimited budget? This is something I do on a regular basis, mostly because I live in a home the size of a postage stamp, with two bedrooms, one bathroom, and literally not enough room to put in any kind of paddling pool, let alone one that requires craning into position.
But, oh! For that play money! What I would do with $250,000! We’d go up! And out! And I’d furnish my house pretty much entirely with stuff I’ve seen in Jardan, and Norsu, and Fenton and Fenton, and pretty much ALL of the shops the contestants pop into like it’s no big thing, but that would give me a stress nosebleed if I ever set foot in, for fear of accidentally breaking something and having to buy it.
Instead it’s Kmart for me (when I'm not snooping around The Block Shop for a great deal), and a couch that’s five years old from Freedom (which my cat uses for a scratching post), and a kitchen that came in a kit from Mitre Ten.
So yeah - I’ll take my paint swatches over scrappy snarking anyday.
Now, if anyone needs me, I’ll be obsessively Pintersting stuff...
Clare Rigden is a Melbourne-based journalist who specialises in writing about TV and entertainment. She is something of a Block expert, having written about every season of the show since it began. When not obsessively watching TV, Clare dreams up ‘fantasy renovation’ projects, window shops The Block Shop, and obsessively saves home inspo ideas to Pinterest.